A Pixelated Mind

Dear Gabe,

How do you deal with Midterms? I know when it comes to the bottom line, I usually choke.

—Joe Frosch

Dear Joe,

It’s no secret that midterms are tough. It’s extremely hard to sink your teeth into them. Especially when you’re a beaver, like my girlfriend Clara.* What I usually do is take the tests one at a time and organize as many study groups as possible. Study groups keep you honest. Plus, you can steal other, smarter, people’s notes.

*Quit thinking that, you pervert!

Dear Gabe,

You’re going out with another dam-builder? How cute.

—Joe Setup

Dear Joe,

What do you mean?

—Gabe

Write To Gabe!

It’s the only thing that keeps him from gnawing off his hands

“Remember kids!

If it dangles, punch a hole in it!”

Dear Gabe,
Why do people shave their eyebrows?
-Seattle-based Service Administrator.
Dear Ass-backwards,
You are probably saying this in remarks to what a local editor of a local paper did to his local face. Well, the most simple response to that is that people are stupid. We’re not saying this local editor is stupid, after all, he’s a genius with a great body, great smile, awesome sense of humor and inexplicable charisma. No, what we’re saying is that everyone with eyebrows is stupid. Those of you without eyebrows are raising your muscles at me right now. You know what I mean.

 

Write To Gabe!
He gets lonely at night.

“Remember kids! Karma is Sloppy and Slow.”