Ind e-Pen VIII

By Pixel at February 21, 2004 at 9:33 pm. Filed in ind e-pen

The Ind e-Pen
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Introduction:
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So my teacher wants me to submit some writing to this annual magazine. Something about a New Growth Arts Review. I ignored it, as always. I’m not good at writing fiction, or poetry, or creative nonfiction and the like.

But then my R.A. (Reasonable Advice) wanted me to submit something to some new viewspaper that was going to be distributed all over the dorm(s). Something about a Tri-Halls Tribune. That one seemed a little unstable. In the kind of way that made me feel that if I didn’t submit anything, nothing would be submitted and the paper would flop. Well, I didn’t want to get associated with a failure like that, so I ignored that one, too…
Then the girl across the hall, who just happens to edit the school newspaper, asked me, upon hearing that my major was Journalism, if I wanted to work for them. I was intrigued. Major newspaper work? That might be fun. Wait…

“Would I have to do any research or publish anything that’s true or anything?” I asked.
She inquired what kind of a journalist I was.

“Not a very good one, obviously.” I quipped.

Oh, well. One of these days my break will come… I’ve just got to keep my eyes open for opportunities, you know?

Pressure Mounting…

Things that I have to do next week: Read ten poems, write a one page review on them, choose my favorite three, and write one paragraph as to why. Read and understand a chapter in the worst translation of the Odyssey known to man. Take a midterm over six textbook chapters I haven’t read yet. Turn in ten pages of stories that I haven’t yet written. Finish eight pages of a Pix Capacitor I haven’t started. Choose, memorize, interpret, and perform a poem for a crowd of 5,000. Oh, and go to a two-hour speech and write a review on that…
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. It’s just the kind of fun that would make a normal person get started on their work, isn’t it? If anything, THIS is the e-mail where I should just find something I’ve written before and mail it off as new. But I’m not. Why? Because I like pressure. It makes me laugh, cry, and sleep. Some of the best times in my life were when I was the most miserable.
Either way, I can’t write much right now. I hope you’ll forgive me. See you next week, with way more stories…

One last thing:
Two wrong answers this week. And just when I thought that nobody was going to do any research whatsoever, someone came back and surprised me. Mayra Valadez wins the prize this week. However, in preparation to next week, I felt I’d let you see all the answers that I received:

Last Week’s Question: Which president of the United States was in office for the least amount of time? Why?

Wrong Answer #1: don’t remember the name, but wasn’t it the president that [was] impeached, not clinton, the other one?
Wrong Answer #2: president william howard taft, the collapse in the dentist’s office

Right Answer: it was William Henry Harrison who died of pneumonia for giving his inauguration speech in the pouring rain. Idiot. Figures.

Follow up to Wrong Answer #1: close enough for me

Follow up to Wrong Answer #2: LOOK BUDDY I THINK I WOULD KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT OUR COUNTRY, I SPENT SIX YEARS IN A [CONCENTRATION] CAMP. AND NO I NEVER STUDIED OUR GREAT COUNTRY’S HISTORY DURING THE TIME I WAS THERE, HOWEVER I DID SLEEP ON THE FLOOR HALF THE NIGHT… IT WASN’T FUN. SO DUDE BEFORE YOU GO OFF THINKING LIKE OH, HEY, LOOK AT ME, I KNOW THE HISTORY OF [OUR] COUNTRY. I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT THE SIX YEARS I SPENT IN KINDERGARTEN. YEAH MAYBE TAFF WASN’T THE MAN YOU WERE LOOKING FOR BUT HEY, WAS HE NOT THE FIRST BLACK MAN IN OFFICE, WAS HE NOT THE SAME MAN THE FREED JFK FROM THE BURNING INFERNO? SO MAYBE HE DID IN FACT DIE 22 YEARS AFTER HIS TIME IN OFFICE, BUT TO GUYS LIKE YOU AND ME WHO’S REALLY COUNTING? JUST WHAT’S ON YOUR HEART, YES DANIEL YOU WERE RIGHT, AND I WAS WRONG. AND THEN I’LL SAY “WELL MR.C IT’S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, QUICK THAT MAN’S ON FIRE!!!!”

This Week’s Question: Should I be scared or just confused? … and if anyone says, “ha, was that what she said when she saw you naked?” I’ll scream.

Facts about William Henry Harrison:

1. He was the first of two presidents named Harrison.
2. He was Benjamin Harrison’s Grandfather.
3. He was the first of three presidents named William.
4. He was the only president that was born in the same county as vice president.
5. He was the president with the largest number of children before he was inaugurated.
6. He was the only president who had ten children.
7. He was the only president who studied medicine.
8. He was the first president who was a professional soldier.
9. He was the only president who served as territorial governor.
10. He was the only president who served as minister of Colombia.
11. He was the first president from the Whig presidential party.
12. He served the shortest term of any president.
13. He was the first president who served less than one term.
14. He was the first president to represent Ohio.
15. He was the oldest president at inaugeration.
16. He held the longest inaugural address (8441 words.)
17. He was the first president who made no changes in his cabinet.
18. He was the first president to die in office.
19. He was the first president to die in White House.

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