Ind e-Pen XXXIII

By Pixel at August 14, 2004 at 5:24 pm. Filed in ind e-pen

The Ind e-Pen
+++vol+1+++BT+33+++

Introduction
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There’s a storm advisory in my area (between the kitchen and the living room), and I’m watching lightning flail all over the sky like a fifteen year-old getting to third base with Sarah Hughes.

Whoa.
Olympic humor.

That’s new.

I guess we’re going to have to get used to it, though, because let’s face it: the Olympics are here. And they’ll probably stay here until at least Sunday. Then they’ll take a short hiatus and come back in 2008 for another two weeks. So get ready for Olympic mayhem!

Whoa, thunder.

Rain.

Man, I really shouldn’t have hung my clothes on the line tonight…

Anyway, here’s an e-mail. Perhaps next week I’ll attach one of these projects (specifically the 90-page play). Perhaps..

The Saddest Things in the World:

• reading fan fiction
• writing fan fiction (although Slash is still cool)
• rewriting fan fiction

• eating alone.
• sitting in front of an empty plate.
• sitting alone, in front of an empty plate, contemplating your next fan fiction story.

• getting a friend to ask out someone because you’re too afraid to do it yourself.
• having that friend be your mother.
• having her bribe them to do it.
• having them take the money, meeting you, then standing you up.
• having that be your best relationship.

• having a diary
• having a livejournal
• being a Butt (http://www.livejournal.com/users/gorzo88/)
• giving Butt’s journal undue publicity in the hopes that he would update it so that you’d have something to read.

• having a weekly e-mail
• having a viewspaper

• emo music
• ha ha, get it? Emo music IS sad…
• not getting it.
• not getting it, but faking a laugh because you think everyone else got it.

Little White Lies (rated from smallest to largest)

1. That dress looks fine on you
2. I didn’t notice any strange looks
3. you don’t have anything on your butt
4. I no speaka any english
5. I hope you do well
6. I’ll be home in an hour
7. Butt’s not here
8. It was like that when I got here
9. I like your parents
10. Your dad likes being the catcher
11. He’s gay
12. I’m gay
13. You’re gay.
14. I’ll watch your kids while you’re away
15. He killed your father
16. I didn’t crash your car
17. Your son is AB+, I remember distinctly
18. I didn’t know he was out of prison
19. I have your mortgage payment right here
20. That is your kid
21. I took the pill
22. I’m a virgin
23. I don’t have an STD
24. I like your paper

A Small Quiz:

Congrats to Butt who responds quicker than Sonic the Hedgehog and the Flash’s love-child on speed. This makes it a Turkey for Butt, three times in a row that he’s beat out everyone else. I’ll wait until he’s offline to send this e-mail, but everyone has to hurry and respond! For the good of the city!!

This Week’s Questions:

1: Can you think of something sadder than anything on my list?
2: What’s the worst little white lie you’ve ever told?
3: If you received a 90-page e-mail, how much would you read?

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