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The Troops

By Pixel at January 8, 2005 at 10:40 am. Filed in advocacy

Good god. You know, my brother’s in the army. A bunch of my friends from high school are in the Navy, and a whole heck of a lot of good people are probably enlisted in Zeus-knows what. But still, I am so sick of this ‘hate the war, not the troops’ kick. It seems to me that if the troops are going to war, then they deserve some of the blame (about 1/300,000th,* by my estimate. Not much, but still ten times more than a Bush voter). “I was just following orders,” “It’s for my country,” “It’s my job” my ass!

*My estimate is based on the number of troops currently in Iraq (150,000) doubled. I figure half the blame lies in those who go and half in those who send**. So Rumsfeld is like 1/10th the blame, and Bush 1/9th and so on..

**Like contract killing? Half the killer is the guy who pulls the trigger, the other half is the guy who tells him to do it. It adds up to Murder 1, but ends up being Murder 2 + Conspiracy.***

*** In theory, I have no idea what ‘real’ people would get charged with.. but don’t get me started on that…


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I was supposed to wake up at 10…

By Pixel at January 8, 2005 at 9:55 am. Filed in non-sequitur

I’ve been up for two hours now.

Have you ever woken up earlier than you had to?
Yeah, me either. I’m thinking this is penis related. You’d be surprised how often my problems are penis related…


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    So I was reading this diary and I realized that I either wanted to kill this girl or cry reminiscing. And knowing myself, I’m going to end up doing the wrong one..
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Christmas Cracker Jokes

By Pixel at January 8, 2005 at 5:11 am. Filed in world

Q: Why is it so cold at Christmas?
A: Because it’s in Decemberrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Mam, can i have a dog for Christmas?
A: No, you can have a turkey like everyone else.

Q:Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: He had low elf esteem.

Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they’d look stupid with suitcases, wouldn’t they?

Waiter! Will my beefburger be long?
I expect it’ll be round, sir.

What do you call a gorilla with a machine-gun?
Sir!

What’s the difference between a pillarbox and an elephant’s ear?
Don’t know.
Well I’ll never send you to post a letter …

How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t, you get it from a duck.

Q: Why do Octopuses never get mugged?
A: Because the are always well armed.

Q: Has anyone ever caught the abominable snowman?
A: Not Yeti.


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A Pal Indeed

By Pixel at January 8, 2005 at 2:47 am. Filed in commentary

Oh, man. I was just reading about this guy and I got the weirdest feeling. It was an urge of some sort… almost a mix of feeling crazy and lying. I think I’m going to sleep now…

pfft! Like anyone really has these problems! *whimper* :$


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