KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
JACK NICHOLSON: ’cause it f…..g wanted to. That’s the f…..g reason.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
JOHNNY ROTTEN: Because it was stapled to the punk rocker.
JOHNNY CARSON: Because it heard there was a man over there laying bricks and it
wanted to see for itself!
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken
‘crossed’ the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou
shalt cross the road” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did
NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The
end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever
think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place, anyway”
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather,
it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our
haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in
such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the
chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. RALPH WALDO
EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. . . it transcended it.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.