And then, they all took two steps back…

Have you ever just wanted to be rude and yell at someone for no reason? I mean, they haven’t done anything to you, but that’s the problem. You want to rattle their cages, but you don’t really want them to hate you. You want to bust them out of their zone and hard.When I was back home, I could call my friends up and berate them, yelling nonsense terms at them and attacking everything they believed in. The next morning, I’d talk to them and all would be forgiven. Here, I lack people like that. If I yelled at someone, they’d likely take offense.

This is likely going to make me lash out randomly. I’m predicting it’ll be at the next commentor or the next person who says something I can pretend to take offense to. So, if it’s you, don’t take offense. Please.

| 2 Comments

“Did I ever tell you about the time I drove in Mexico?”

So I drove in Australia yesterday. Yup. Me. After that mysterious and carefully ignored incident, I didn’t think anyone would be stupid enough to let me drive, but alas, someone was too tired to know better and let me.It’s funny because I

• had no license
• was wearing glasses that only gave me 20/40 vision
• didn’t know the rules of the road (as I proved quite accidentally by not yielding when I should have)
• was not legally allowed to drive in that country
• hadn’t driven in a loooooong time
• was driving at night,
• –on the other side of the road–
• didn’t really know where to go
• in a car that I was not used to
• –that wasn’t mine–
• and I was on the other side of the car.

It’s insane that I drove like that and even more insane that I didn’t kill us all. Next time I’ll pilot a space shuttle while wearing a blindfold.

| 1 Comment

“We Need to Talk”

As per my last post, I started thinking (keep it up, Pixel!). The reason that “we need to talk” creates such a sense of foreboding in the person listening is because it signifies a change in the conversation. Because, even if you’ve been talking for 8 hours straight, you can still say that phrase with but the subtlest of irony.No, the reason it makes us all cringe is that it means that the person saying it needs to discuss something with you in the much more serious meta-conversational level. Had the prior conversation been serious in the necessary way, the thing that needed to be discussed would have been, but it wasn’t. So the person says “WNTT” wanting to shift conversational gears as quickly and certainly as possible, only, since those gears are obviously not smooth enough to shift on their own, it creates a lurch for all involved.

It’s forcing you to leave the land of blissful denial (which is detrimental for any relationship as I might discuss in the future) for an uncertain land. Thus, you feel terrible for those few seconds before you start the actual meta-conversation.

So, I, personally, will avoid saying that phrase and will that talking to me exercise all conversational gears equally. Let me know if I fail terribly.

| 3 Comments