Tao of Gabe: On Finals Dreaming…

Gabe the Gorgeous Beaver is finally done with his final exams. And now all I have to do is wait for the results that will tell me whether my beaver papillomavirus (BPV) is still malignant.

Failed pick-up lines: “Quick! Let’s do it while it’s in recession.” You , too, have probably dealt with finals (and possibly BPV). Actually, you probably just finished some of your own. (The finals, not the BPV.) Boy, aren’t you glad that you studied all semester and read your assigned texts regularly? Those silly short-sighted students that leave everything to the last minute. Boy, I don’t envy them for a second!

The life of the uni student is great. The only things that get in the way are classes and those pesky grades. But now that you’re done, all you have left to do is relaaaaax & until the grades come in and you realize how poorly you fared.

Failed pick-up lines: I’ve been tested for VD and the results were ‘inconclusive,’ baby.”

For the next few weeks, your life will be perfectly grand. Unless, of course, you’re moving out, moving in, getting a job, losing a job, graduating, celebrating a holiday with family, avoiding festivities alone, going through personal issues, dealing with other people’s personal issues or are a victim of one of the illnesses that is going around (the common cold, the flu, herpes … ).

To wind down after a semester of grueling study and prepare yourself for a long winter (it’s happy to see us), I’d recommend a night out playing strip/drinking Risk!” with your friends. I hear you can do it online now, too. Only instead of “strip,” it’s “rented porno, and instead of “drinking, it’s “crying into your pillow.” Also, you have no friends. — And nobody likes you. –
And you probably failed all your classes.

Or you could console yourself with the fact that someone somewhere had it worse than you this year. It’s true. Behind every stressed undergrad, there’s a graduate student who is researching how to tie a noose.

Every finals week, I have a dream in which I show up to my final exams only to realize that there was a class I never showed up for throughout the semester, and I need to make up for it by doing phenomenal on this exam. You might recall that dream by another name: freshman year.

Luckily, you are momentarily done with all that. Now you must concentrate on surviving Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Christmas and the Solstice without killing someone for their parking spot.
A semester of uni should have given you adequate preparation for this. Sadly, as civilized creatures, stress never leaves us. Stay up all night thinking about that one, if you will. If only there were some sort of formula for liquid relaxation the way there is for luck (Felix Felicis).

Then again, I guess there is. Only we call it alcohol.

Happy holidays, children.

Finally: Love,
Gabe D. Beaver

“Remember Kids: Everyone fights themselves sometimes. It’s just that when I do it, I win.”

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Lappy Shopping

That’s it. I’m switching to Apple. My next lappy is either going to be an iBook or a PowerBook.

12.1″ most likely. I like the measurement because it’s familiar.

And now… to comparison shop. Apparently I have the hook up at the campus store and I can buy it tax-free. So we’re looking at either $959 or $1399 plus however much extra RAM costs and $220 for Adobe Creative Suite CS2.

Theoretically this is coming out of a separate fund than my Australia fund, but I’m sure I’ll feel the bite anyway.

Here. Help me decide. The differences are small but humble:

iBook
Processor
1.33GHz PowerPC G4
Memory
512MB PC2700 DDR SDRAM
Hard disk
40GB ATA/100
Optical drive
Combo drive (DVD-ROM/CD-RW)
Display type
12.1-inch TFT XGA
Built-in display resolution
1024 x 768 pixels
Graphics card
ATI Mobility Radeon 9550
Video memory
32MB DDR SDRAM
Size (H x W x D)
1.35 x 11.2 x 9.06 inches
Weight
4.9 pounds
Case material
Durable, ultratough polycarbonate
Battery life
Up to 6 hours
Bundled
iLife ‘05 (includes iTunes, iPhoto, iMovie HD, iDVD(8), GarageBand), Mail, Dashboard, Spotlight, iChat AV, Safari, Sherlock, QuickTime, iSync, iCal, DVD Player, Address Book, AppleWorks, iWork (30-day trial), Classic environment, Quicken 2005 for Macintosh, 2005 World Book Multimedia Reference Suite, Nanosaur 2, Marble Blast Gold, Microsoft Office 2004 for Mac Test Drive, Zinio Reader, XCode Developer Tools and Apple Hardware Test
Accessories included
Modem cable, Mini-VGA to VGA adapter, power adapter, AC wall plug, power cord, battery

Powerbook
Processor
1.5GHz PowerPC G4
Memory
512MB DDR PC2700 SDRAM
Hard disk
80GB ATA/100
Optical drive
SuperDrive (DVD±RW/CD-RW)
Display type
12.1-inch TFT XGA
Built-in display resolution
1024 x 768 pixels
Graphics card
NVIDIA GeForce FX Go5200
Video memory
64MB DDR SDRAM
Size (H x W x D)
1.18 x 10.9 x 8.6 inches
Weight
4.6 pounds
Case material
Sleek, lightweight aluminum alloy
Battery life
Up to 5 hours
Bundled
iLife ‘05 (includes iTunes, iPhoto, iMovie HD, iDVD, GarageBand), Mail, Dashboard, Spotlight, iChat AV, Safari, QuickTime, iCal, DVD Player, Address Book, Classic environment, Art Directors Toolkit, FileMaker Pro Trial, GraphicConverter, OmniGraffle, OmniOutliner, QuickBooks For Mac New User Edition, Microsoft Office 2004 for Mac Test Drive, Zinio Reader, Xcode Developer Tools and Apple Hardware Test
Accessories included
Modem cable, Mini-DVI to DVI adapter, Mini-DVI to VGA adapter, power adapter, AC wall plug, power cord, battery

I don’t see enough of a difference to warrant a $400 boost, but everyone I talk to says to go with the Powerbook. What do I do?

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