nabµf #4 of 29

By Pixel at July 7, 2007 at 12:44 pm. Filed in nabµf

Young Pixel hadn’t yet spoken his first word and his parents were worried. They knew he wasn’t mute because his nightly screams would often wake the neighbors. His parents would run into his room and fret over what possible nightmare could scare a child so.

Young Pixel, however, just hadn’t learned how to say “gotcha!” yet, so his parents mistook his giggling for the dying throws of an asthmatic chain-smoker with asbestos poisoning (this still happens).

Perhaps Young Pixel was just slow? And yet whenever he wanted something, he would point at it. He chuckled knowingly at Dennis Miller jokes and even converted some old paperclips into a cold fusion chamber with an optional cappuccino-maker. So his parents knew that there was potential for some intelligence in their son.

From Young Pixel’s point of view, there was no need to talk. He could obtain everything he needed without speaking a word and besides, people develop higher expectations when they know you can do something. Just look at when Young Pixel learned how to go to the bathroom by himself: all of a sudden, he was expected to just go to the bathroom on his own! He couldn’t have a day off or anything!

Soon, though, ninjas broke into his house and killed his father. His mother took her sons, looked at his Pixel’s brother and said, “Shh! They’ll kill us if we make a single sound!”

To which Young Pixel replied, “what am I, chopped liver??”

And soon he was.

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