nabµf #5 of 29

Young Pixel was invited to his neighbor’s house to see a movie. Young Pixel liked movies. He especially liked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Young Pixel said yes.When he arrived at his neighbor’s house, he was told they were going to see “Child’s Play 2.”

Pixel was thrilled! Finally, there was going to be a movie aimed at his demographic. He was tired of not understanding other movies because everyone talked too fast. And, he didn’t want to say anything because people would laugh at him, but he thought that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was pretty scary at times. Sometimes they would hit the bad guys pretty hard: maybe they needed medical attention?

What a way to die: due to internal injuries received while fighting a turtle. Pixel shuddered. Well, at least this movie wouldn’t be so bad. And it was about a doll, too, or so his neighbor told him.

His neighbor put the movie in the VCR and Pixel stared at the screen, eyes wide open in horror.

The rest of the movie passed in a shuddering fit as scene after hopeful scene turned terrible for the characters. Who would have thought that a toy factory could be so evil?

That night, Pixel had a dream that he was racing away from a giant Chucky doll with the ninja turtles by his side. Then Leonardo grew hungry and the Ninja Turtles ate Young Pixel.

Young Pixel would have woken up screaming if he had ever woken up again.

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Debates between theists and atheists always favor atheists

Richard Dawkins refuses to debate Creationists. He says that the reason for this is advice from Stephen Jay Gould (himself famous for the “Darwin Wars” debates). Gould said that, whatever the outcome, Creationists would win, because the very fact that they could debate a well-known evolutionist gave credence to their beliefs. The strategy is specifically outlined in the Wedge Document.

The fact that this one-way credibility is true has nothing to do with the truth of either side. Whenever a fringe belief is given equal time as an established belief, it is good for the fringe belief and bad for the established belief. The establishment, in other words, has very few people it can win over and everything to lose. The fringe has everything and everyone to gain.

In much the same way as evolutionists will always lose a little to creationists in one-on-one debates, so too will theists lose out to atheists. In this situation, the tables are reversed: theism is the establishment now and atheism the fringe. Debates between theists and atheists always favor atheists.

Every public debate seems to bring up more questioning theists than questioning atheists. It’s all a numbers game… and it works for every set of opposing beliefs.

• Democrats vs. Greens
• Republicans vs. Constitutionalists
• Holocaust Survivors vs. Holocaust Deniers
• Friday vs. Wednesday
• Gorbachev vs. Khrushchev
• King Kong vs. Godzilla
• Lieutenant Ripley from Aliens vs. Major Dutch from Predator
• Apples vs. oranges

… I forgot what I was supposed to be listing… Where’s the bathroom?

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