An Audience of One

I write what I like to read. This is bad for my readers but good for me.

To be fair, I mostly write menial things: “can I borrow some superglue, a horse and your stamp collection?” Still more often, I write correspondence to my relatives and far-away friends with lies pretending I’m a normal person: “so I had drive-thru, saw American Idol and went cow-tipping. Yee… um… Haw!”

But every once in a while when I write to a person who might laugh, or I think I might laugh, I write some seriously ridiculous things. I probably don’t have to give an example, but I’ll give one anyway:

They say money can’t buy love, but I say it can buy the next best thing. And if you don’t have love and do have money, you might as well try to see what you can get for it. In closing Pastor Steve, I’m sorry I lit your wife on fire. In retrospect, I’m not entirely sure it was a good idea and I’ll probably never do it again.

Say, wanna play racquetball? We can visit your wife at the hospital afterward. I think they have a bar there!

I actually don’t know a Pastor Steve, but if I did, I’d probably write a letter like that to him.

This is in my nature and I’m told that’s why people read my blog….. in unrelated news, this is now the fifteenth post in a row without comments!! You think I’m complaining, but I’d been hoping I could reach this mark. It’s a very emotional time for me.

….. And now, to go play racquetball.

Last Year: Open letter to the Las Cruces Shooter
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