Super Secret Project of Mystery!!

A fool says what he knows, a wise man hugs lots of people and charts the rate, frequency and amount in an easy to read area or line graph to display his non-scientific results to his friends and blog readers.

—Yiddish proverb

For six months now I’ve had a secret Moleskine in which I’ve jotted down information, as if at random. I have only shown this notebook to one person because I was afraid my results might be compromised. Now that the project is over, I can finally reveal what it was.

Ready?

*Ahem!*

…and…

I’ve been taking notes of people I’ve hugged, including when, who, how, what type of hug, and why it was given.

Then I made these nifty charts to show the world. There are only two notes for the charts that explain the sudden spikes: On August 18 and this past Sunday, I said goodbye to some members of my family. The hug totals for those days were 53 from 3 people and 50 from 10, respectively. Also about 40 of the final hugs occurrd at 7 p.m., thus explaining a full half of my 7 p.m. hugs all year.

Method:

Hugs counted as part of the hour if they were given from H-15 to H+45 minutes of the hour. Thus, a 11:46 hug and a 12:44 hug both counted as a 12 o’clock hug.

I kept meticulous notes for most days, with my memory only failing on days I received more than 20 hugs. I tried to be as accurate as I could for those days, but really it’s mostly guesswork.

Conclusion:

I hug relatives the most (because it’s expected and we rarely see each other, but mostly because I have really awesome cousins). I also hug mostly in the evening, with the peak being around 11 p.m. I rarely hug in the morning because I’m usually asleep, but there is also a 2 p.m. dip for some reason. Usually, when I am at home as part of my routine, I get no hugs. But I break my routine often. Any questions? Suggestions for future projects?   Comments?

Today, I am thankful for…………………… did I already say friends? How about projects? Hugs? Reality? Whatever, I’m thankful for something.

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I am thankful for… friends

My friend Alethea took part in Ramadan with me because she shared the feeling I did. Now she’s writing a novel this month too, despite the fact that she’s a mommy and is going to school and working full time. She has never, ever let me down and in our ten years of friendship, and I am glad to do whatever I can to help her out with her life.

My friend Moira is the most considerate person I know. She has never, ever forgotten a birthday or Christmas. She is also getting her Master’s in philosophy and remains one of my favorite people to have a conversation with. She is a fabulous author (English/philosophy major) and I can only hope she’ll read my writing sample and offer me some advice.

My friend Sandy is the most fun, awesome person you will ever stand the chance of meeting. She was my R.A. when I lived in Pennsylvania and a regular friend after that. She was the first worthwhile person I met there and the only one to stay up until 4 a.m. to say goodbye to me when I left. She also flew across the country to go on a road trip with me. Not only did our relationship not strain for the week we spent in each other’s company, but we grew so much closer. When I almost didn’t have an iPod, she offered to lend me hers for the 4-day drive back alone. She went out of her way to accommodate my friends and even tried to be a wingman. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend a week trapped in a car with.

My friend Ex_cal is hilarious, dangerous, insane, and an unmitigated genius. I haven’t talked to him in a while, possibly because I haven’t saved up enough money to go back to Australia and became grotesquely unreliable in correspondence, but I still hold him as one of the greatest conversationalists and most intelligent people I have ever met. He also has a heart of gold: he let me into his circle of friends without a second thought, made my last weekends in Australia the most fun I have ever had, and stayed up with me and Jess the whole night before I left. I promised this man I would be back to Australia and I will . His philosophy skill is greater than mine at the moment, but I doubt it’ll stay that way for long.

Adriano sends the funniest e-mails and is one of the greatest conversationalists I’ve ever known. If I had to make a guest list to a party of any sort, he would be the first on the list, just because he’s such an intelligent, enjoyable, intriguing human being. Whether he’s living in Australia when I go back or not, I’ll go to wherever he is and visit him.

My friend Jess is beautiful, smart, and twistedly funny. If I had to make a list of the best people I had ever met, she would be in the top three without a doubt. We were roommates in Australia and had the kind of conversations only a psychology major and a nutcase could have. If I could marry this girl, I’d do it in a heartbeat. As it is, she and I are staging a surprise wedding for her and Trumpet Rob soon, so I can’t. I’d never take Trumpie’s girl.

My friend Trumpet Rob is friggin’ awesome. I first met him when I went to Pennsylvania on exchange. He was my favorite person in the hall then and continues to be one of my favorite people in the world. One night, via AIM, we decided to go to Australia. I never thought we would actually do it, but 9 months later we were roommates across the globe. I would trust this man with my life, my wife, and —if my back were turned— a knife. He is a creationist-bashing biologist and a friend for life.

My friend Frank… actually, I don’t know why I still hang out with him. Trumpet Rob is so much cooler.I love all of these people with all my heart and would take a bullet for them in a second. I am glad they are in my life. I am thankful for… friends.

Last Year: I'm on the list! I'm on the list!
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I have decided to boycott NaBloPoMo

1:  My car broke down and I need $10 to get on a bus for Albuquerque, I usually don’t—
2:  Wow, me too!  What are the odds that the same thing happened to me??  Hey, let’s go ask that guy over there for change together!

This is just the post explaining that I’m done with NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo.  I mean, tomorrow’s post is already written and so is the 29th’s, but I’m not going to do anything for the 30th, just to prove I don’t need to prove anything! 

Oh, and I found some knowledge for you all, because I know you were looking:

About 90 percent of aviation accidents occur during the first two minutes or last four minutes of a flight. Raising the seat to the upright position allows the seat belts to work as they were designed. You’d be less likely to slip underneath a belt in the upright position, while also maximizing the utility of the ‘brace position’ in case of an emergency landing by widening the space in front and behind the seat, keeping the row clear of obstruction. 

Also, today I’m thankful for food…  speaking of which, I’m going into town to get some food and write some statement of purpose, finally.

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Hobbes was Right!

Why education makes jokes funnier

Today I am thankful life isn’t… Calvinball!

My friend Frank just proved that Calvinball is not a sport. See, a sport is an event where two or more people interact in order to secure a common or opposed objective with no other aim but recreation or competition. Cheating is regulated in sports because cheating is completely contrary to the goals of the game. If cheating were allowed, true competition could only exist if both players cheated, thus nullifying the effect of cheating.

In order for a sport to do the function of a sport, it must regulate cheating directly or indirectly. Otherwise it’s just not a very good sport. How can I be sure of this? Let’s begin by defining our terms. This is why Zeus invented plug-ins. *Ahem!*

• cheat
  • to influence or lead by deceit, trick, or artifice in flagrant violation of the rules

• sport
  • An activity requiring physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment.

• rule
  • a guide for conduct or action
  • an accepted procedure, custom, or habit

• competition
  • a contest between rivals

People get together in sports to compete. Competitions can only be true competitions if they accurately define their set limits, or rules. Otherwise competitions would not measure the performance of an athlete so much as his prowess at cheating without being caught. So, sports must have rules. Cheating is defined here as anything that gives someone an unfair advantage outside of the rules of the sport. Thus, a sport with no set rules could not have any cheating either. Luckily, we have an example of such a ’sport,’ Calvinball. But, from how we have defined sports here, Calvinball cannot be a sport.

Logically:

1. If something is a sport, then it is a competition (p - > q)
2. Competitions require rules, so if something is a competition, then it has rules (=df, q - > r)
3. Calvinball has no set rules, in fact, no rule can be used more than once (~r)
4. Therefore, Calvinball is not a sport.

As sports tend to allow cheating, they tend to relax their rules and be more like Calvinball. Since we have shown Calvinball is not a sport, then in every instance a sport allows cheating, it is not following it’s own rule. It’s unsportsmanlike if you will.

What does this mean? Not much. It just means Barry Bonds can keep his record if we create a league of people who are allowed and encouraged to use any and all illegal substances. Only in that way would his record be a true reflection of his ability. Otherwise everyone is just running around playing Calvinball.