A very Charlie Brown question

By Pixel at January 4, 2008 at 12:35 am. Filed in reader response

Despite my best efforts, I am not a woman. As such, I often have questions for men who are women… maybe women who are women can answer too.

What type of regrets do women have?

I’ll illustrate this question with a Charlie Brown example.

See, Charlie Brown was very enamored of the little red-headed girl, but never worked up the courage to ask her out (photo notwithstanding). I imagine Charlie Brown growing up to be a cartoonist, constantly writing comics with themes about his own inability to work up the courage to ask a girl out. I also imagine him having trust issues over Lucy’s constantly pulling the football out from under him…. and balance issues for always falling. (Have you ever fallen while kicking anything? Maybe he has a balance issue.)

The reason I mention this is that Charlie Brown will always think the blame was his. He never asked her out.

Now suppose this is an alternate world in which the little red-head girl likes Charlie Brown too. Suppose she has a thing for bald 8-year-olds who constantly wear the same clothing. But, years later, he never asked her out. Suppose she regrets that this never occurred. How would she frame this regret in her mind?

Will the blame be hers? Will she regret that he never asked her out? How does second-order regret even work?

I ask because I seriously don’t know. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a woman. All of my regrets are perfectly first-order.

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