Dear Pixel, age 22,

Hey… you!
I have just received your letter and was rather confused by the advice. You told me to ignore grades and make friends, but I took that to be a typo. Surely you wanted me to ignore friends and make grades, right? Your letter seemed to think what I do with my life will somehow affect yours, but I can’t see how that follows at all. Besides, your advice was all aimed at things I haven’t done yet. What good is that kind of advice? I guess I’ll just ignore it until it does make sense.

Anyway, I wanted to ask what I’m doing with my life at age 22. The way I figure, you’re about old enough now to have made your first million, right? That’s probably how you sent that letter back in time. Also, did you ever end up using that costume I designed to fight crime? I was looking at it right now and realized I hadn’t put in enough pockets for gummy worms. I’ll keep working on it for you, okay?

Wow. You’re 22. What’s that like? I bet you’re really strong. Does your wife like that? How many kids do you guys have? Are any of them in college?

Also, I wanted to know if you and Luis were still best friends forever. Was he your best man at your wedding? I bet he ate a lot of cake. He likes cake.

So, now that you’re retired and a millionaire, do you have parties all the time? I bet you hang out with your brother almost every day. Me and him are on okay terms right now, but that’s just because we got a second controller to the Sega. Do you have a Sega? Sega has probably come out with a much better system in your time, though. Right?

Hey! What if you reply to this with some old (to you) copies of various Sega games?? I like Sonic and Shinning Force, but Phantasy Star is good too.

Please reply really quickly! I really want some games! Plus also: I want to know more about your supermodel wife. Does she know about your secret crime fighting? Does she fight crime with you?

Awesome.

Sincerely,
Pixel, age 10, © 1995

p.s. Don’t worry about your life disappointing me. It won’t, I’m sure. I don’t care if you only fight crime on the weekends and your wife is only a part-time model. Or what else is it? Has the commissioner not given you the key to the city yet? Because it’s all politics, you know.

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