Which grade did you skip again?

I was never taught my multiplication tables. I know them now, but I only learned them by noticing patterns in later math classes. The reason I never learned the tables is that I skipped the grade where everyone learned them: fourth grade.

I always consider fourth grade to be the ideal grade to skip.

People who skip first or second grade aren’t necessarily smarter: they just had a head start. Their parents helped them learn to read and write and do math.

People who skipped a grade in middle school or high school aren’t necessarily smarter either, they just worked harder and played the system right.

The only grades that are left are third, fourth, and fifth. In these grades, whatever advantages your parents gave you have worn off.¹ In these grades, you don’t know the system well enough to skip a grade on your own. Thus, the most likely reason for skipping a grade is because you were just too gosh darn smart!

In conclusion: skipping fourth grade is a sign of intelligence. Skipping any other grade is not. Isn’t it wonderful how it happens to be the same grade I skipped? What a coincidence!

1. Unless you have some of those parents that insist on tutoring you while you’re in school. But I’ve seen more reliable evidence for unicorns than those kinds of überparents.[↩]

|