Happy Birthday Holly!

4. I was born at 19:41, on 29 May 1985. There’s nothing really special about this day, but I still pause every time I see the clock say 5:29.

I have a friend who’s birthday it is today. I feel bad because I’ve missed it for the past eight years and she only has a birthday every four years.

Happy birthday!

(I apologize if I offended anybody by this post, but I feel really strong about this issue, as you’ve probably gathered from the post. Comments are closed because I don’t want trolls or people flaming me, but pings are open, so you can respond to this post across the blogosphere if you have any valuable insight to add or wish to challenge my claim in any way.)

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Abusing databases

3. If I get good practice, I can solve a standard Rubik’s cube in under 90 seconds.

This meme is directed entirely at Ashley. She knows why.

These are all official IMDB “Plot Keywords” to movies I like. I am including more keywords than usual, because I chose them specifically to throw you off. See if you can guess what the movies are:

1. One Night / Twins / Foursome / Adultery / Sex / Female Nudity / Farting Contest / Character Name In Title
2. Shirtless Male Bondage / Atheist / Faith / Teacher Student Relationship / Secret Identity / Character Name In Title
3. Wallflower / Journalist / Beautiful Woman / Unrequited Love / Human Relationship / Single Father / Severe Diarrhea
4. Bagpipe / False Identity / Hit In Crotch / Tuba / Rock Band / American Football / Title Spoken By Character
5. Lesbian / Science Fair / Based On Cult TV Series / High School /Teacher Student Relationship / Drug Addict / Prostitute
6. No Opening Credits / 555 Phone Number / Revolving Door / Plato / Obscene Finger Gesture / Title Spoken By Character
7. Pearl Necklace / No Opening Credits / Repeated Line / No Title At Beginning / Poison / Antidote / Character Name In Title
8. No Opening Credits / Demonic Grin / Deus Ex Machina / Real Life Siblings As Fictional Siblings / Character Name In Title
9. Dysfunctional Family / Television / Destiny / Crush / Love At First Sight / Unwanted Kiss / Title Spoken By Character
10. Altering History / Clock / Part Of Trilogy / Inventor / Car Trouble / Destiny / Manure / Time Machine / Delorean DMC 12

Can anybody (read: Ashley) guess what movies these are?

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Rejected Film Taglines

2. My grandfather was a bracero. I never think about this, but it’s true. Craziness.

Reasons why I’m not in marketing:

• He didn’t believe in Antler Ninjas: Ninjas with antlers for hands… He was DEAD Wrong.
• A family comedy you’ll all fucking enjoy
• Just when you thought it was all over
• He didn’t get even: he got odd.
• You’ll cry until you puke with laughter
• That’s right, we made another one
• So many special effects, you’ll wonder where the plot went
• From the people that made Battlefield Earth, Jason X, and Epic Movie comes another cinematic masterpiece
• Who ever knew drugs could cause problems for other people?
• This chick movie has a guy picture-in-picture of porn!
• You’ll never want to touch a Bounty paper towel again…
• This movie is ZOMFG!!!
• Their love was forbidden: by law.

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100 Things about Me, pt. 1 of 100

1. I hate cheese. I don’t know why, but the texture and smell has always grossed me out. One exception: pizza. And no, I don’t know why it’s okay with bread and tomato sauce, it just is.

From now onto the next one hundred posts, I’m going to post one new fact about me, just so that you can get to know me better. Comments and complaints are appreciated.

Note: I’m writing this and the following nine posts on one Sunday. Please excuse the quality and length of the writing for the next week or so.

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The Tale of Someone Else

A bit after I wrote yesterday’s post, someone else from the past called me. We spoke for 153 minutes, which was awesome, because I hadn’t spoken to her in months. She was one of the two girls Gordon and I ate lunch with in pt. 2 of 4 and was an unmentioned fourth party in pt. 3 of 4. I’ve known this girl for ages, but we hadn’t spoken in far too long. I don’t know if we grew apart because it was one of those things, or because there was awkwardness with her and another friend of mine, but I’m going to guess it’s because she graduated and moved to Alaska.

As soon as she realized I was in Seattle, we began thinking of ways to see each other. See, a roundtrip ticket to New Mexico costs more than $1000, but going to Washington costs far, far less.

To make a long story short, tomorrow night I’m going to get on a plane and fly to Alaska. I fully realize that this means I’m going to have to leave a job I haven’t yet started and possibly have to move back home as soon as I return, but who cares? I’m going to Duke in a few months anyway.

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