Pros and Cons of ‘Horse’

Actual conversation:

Pixel:  Okay, let’s list the pros and cons of Heroin.  I’m for it.  PRO: New circle of friends.

Yoshi:  But you get AIDS.

Pixel:  Good point…  okay, PRO:  Learn valuable skills in using hypodermic needles.

Yoshi:  CON:  You lose all of your teeth.

Pixel:  I think that’s meth.

Yoshi:  Okay, CON:  You lose all of your former friends.

Pixel:  That’s good, that’s good.  Okay, PRO:  It feels really good.

Yoshi:  CON: You use it too much and it doesn’t feel so good anymore.

Pixel:  PRO: Yeah, but it feels really, really good.

Yoshi:  CON:  So does sex.

Pixel:  PRO:  Sex with heroin would be even better still.

Yoshi:  CON:  You won’t be able to get a girlfriend if you’re on heroin.

Pixel:  PRO:  You don’t need one, there’s plenty of heroin-using attractive women.

Yoshi:  CON:  That are all gangly and disgusting.

Pixel:  PRO:  So are you.

Yoshi:  CON:  But they have AIDS.

Pixel:  PRO:  Needle exchanges lessen fear of HerpeAIDS.

Yoshi:  CON:  You get arrested.

Pixel:  PRO:  Free housing.

Yoshi:  CON:  You die.

Pixel:  PRO:  You really live.

Yoshi:  CON:  Track marks.

Pixel:  PRO:  “Euphoria Trails.”

Yoshi:  CON:  Sell all of your possessions.

Pixel:  PRO:  Ask anyone who has both done and not done heroin, they’ll tell you that it was worth it.

Yoshi:  Actually, no they won’t they’ll tell you it ruined their lives and they are better off without it.

Pixel:  Good point.  So I guess we agree: both sides are equal.  We should teach the controversy and let people decide.

Yoshi:  Okay, Mike Huckabee.

Pixel:  I mean, if you’re not into Heroin, that’s your addiction.  If you are, then that’s your addiction too.  Both are equal.

Yoshi:  You need a job, bad.

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