When you shoud discuss religion with me

9. I trained my clapping for two years. Now I can do what I call the ‘Sonic Clap,’ which deafens all children and puppies in the area… and not clap in any other way..

I have compiled a list of times when people should discuss religion with me:

• When you agree with me.
• When you don’t care very much for the subject.
• When you want to lose an argument.
• When you want to get mad at me.
• When polite conversation just doesn’t cut it.
• When in Rome…
• When you want to learn something new.
• When you want to think about things in a new way.
• When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another.
• When we’re in a neutral place.
• When the referee has given me time to rest.

When you should not discuss religion with me

• Most other times.

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