Comments on: Are you Okay?

By: Steve

Steve — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:54:48 +0000

I’m in the Dawn camp. It’s a social construct, somewhat akin to lying, yes, but it works on the basis of us all pretending it’s not.

If someone obviously has something wrong, asking them if they’re ok is essentially asking them for permission to try and comfort them. If they say “Yeah, yeah it’s fine, just give me a minute” you know they want to tough it out alone, and so you pretend to believe it. If they say “No” and tell you the problem, it’s permission to try and help out, if only in listening.

By: Pixel

Pixel — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 16:35:56 +0000

You might just be the first person to ever tell me that. Glad to hear, I thought it was a silent irritation for everybody.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 16:28:47 +0000

Shame you feel this way; I’ve always felt it was one of the more endearing phrases. I know it’s probably unjustifiable, but I love when guys ask me that. I refuse to let it bother me I suppose.

By: Pixel

Pixel — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:26:21 +0000

hahaha, that’s awesome.

By: Moira

Moira — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:18:41 +0000

Has it been THAT long? Wow. We’re old.

To answer your question, would I throw an almost 10 year friendship with one of my best friends away for the sake of a cheap laugh…? Absolutely. You know you would too. That’s why we’re friends in the first place.

By: Pixel

Pixel — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 06:22:04 +0000

Moira, I believe I gave you fair warning. I guess you are no longer my friend.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Did nine and a three-quarter years of friendship really mean so little to you? Oh, well… I can’t say I didn’t predict it…

By: Moira

Moira — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:18:33 +0000

Hey Carolus, you sound upset…are you okay? hahaha

Sorry. You know I had to do it. Seriously though, I had a similar disucssion recently over the movie Batman Begins. At some point the cop tells the young Bruce Wayne (who’s just watched his parents gunned down in front of him) “It’s okay.” This sparked the discussion of why would you EVER say that to a kid who has literally JUST lost his parents? What did he mean by telling him that? A lot of people are guilty of this. So, more generally what do we mean by telling someone “It’s okay” when you know that their life is crap and/or things have clearly gone to hell in a handbasket?

PS. I have occasionally replied, “I’m having a crap day” in response to “how are you?” But you know if you reply honestly you’ll just end up extending a discussion with someone you’re not really interested in talking to anyway

By: Kori

Kori — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:36:35 +0000

I’ll bite one this one, LOL. The second most annoying and meaningless phrase is the ubiquitous “How are you?” Because frankly, we know you don’t give a shit, and also, do you really want my answer? I would love to be able to say, “I am having a really crappy day because I am in the middle of declaring bankruptcy, my boyfriend dumped me, and my ass just keeps getting bigger…but hey, thanks for asking, how are you?”