A Pixelated Mind

86. I wore braces all of senior year in high school and into my first semester of college. I don’t know why, though, because my teeth were never that bad. I guess I just wanted to fit in.

Hey, last year this was my birthday, so I sort of feel I owe it to myself to talk about it. But now I’ve decided to take a break from getting older, so this day won’t signify my turning older, but pushing my birthday one year further. That’s right. Yesterday, I was born in 1982, but from today until May 28, 2009, I’ll have been born in 1983. You understand.

Happy birthday to me?

p.s.  No, I’m still gone, I just wrote this entry before I left so that you would be like “wha…?”  I’ll write something of note soon.

84. I get really into board games. This is probably a bad thing. Actually, I get into games really easily. I just get tired of them as soon as I beat them. That’s probably not a bad thing.

I’ve been steadily worse about my posting since I decided I was going to go on hiatus for the summer. I’m like the Office: I get bad to make you feel better about the fact that I’m going to go on hiatus soon. I think this way you’ll be like “well, his last few posts weren’t so good, so it’s better that he left.” I could have gone with another approach and left on a high note, but I’ve found myself steadily less inspired since early April. My Moleskine got to the point where I would use my ideas as soon as I came up with them. And, since this is more of a blog about ideas than events, it got to the point that I would be afraid of just writing filler in order to keep up posting.  I mean, think how angry you’d be if you read a post that began:

So the other day I was thinking about lint…

Actually, I think that part of the reason my posting has been lagging is that I’m now blond. Also because I’ve been been busy trying to get my affairs in order (Was her name Julie or Janet?).  I’ve gotten really bad at planning ahead in the past few years, so I end up doing everything half-way and in a hurry.  Hence my packing at 2 in the morning.

Anyway, Courtney just commented that she was going to miss me when I’m gone. Aww… If you guys want, I’ll go into semi-retirement and post sporatically throughout the summer? How’s that work for everyone? Also, I leave at four in the morning tomorrow, so my retirement will be official as of then. Sorry for telling you this way (at midnight). Bye now!

83. I’ve gone to the ER far more times than I’d care to remember. But I’ve never stayed overnight at a hospital. Doctors scare me.

82. None of the products in my bathroom were tested on animals.

So I’ve decided to extend my contest a bit to give people more time to enter.  PLUS: I’m going to be traveling in a third-world country soon, and everybody loves lead-based toys and candy, right?

81. I’m a really, really bad vegetarian: I basically hate vegetables. If boca burgers didn’t exst, I think I’d've died by now.

On the realm of loving to think, this occurred to me a few weeks ago when I was in Arizona for a photography blah-blah.

Aesthetics is an evolutionary by-product. The thought popped into my head while looking at a (very beautiful) picture of a cup. I thought: why does this black and white cup just draw me in so much? Why do I keep staring at it? Then I thought, “I could make an image like this” and I looked down at the front entrance where beams of light streamed though the windows. I positioned myself in the exact space where the light was most beautiful and took a mental image. Then I thought:

Why is this exact position so much more appealing than any other angle?

Then, I realized that as I kept staring, my gaze would wander or I’d move my head just slightly to change the angle. And it struck me:

This isn’t the most beautiful angle, it’s the most appealing and attractive angle!

Big difference.

See, my brain saw the beams of light hit the floor and wall and instantly saw it as important. It thought:

this is different. This might be useful, or it might be threatening, either way it is novel and I should pay attention to it. I should look at it from a different angle.

And that is why I kept looking at it. I kept staring to see if it would change and when it didn’t, I tried to change how I was looking at it.

Recall the earlier photograph of a cup (or shovel, whatever). My mind stared at it and became enthralled over the possibility that such a phenomenon could exist in the world. It was captivated by it because it wanted to analyze it more closely or differently – - – but I couldn’t!

More broadly speaking, the reason we are attracted to certain things is because our unconscious mind is trying to understand the objects (be they photos, sculptures, or paintings), but is limited in its appraisal process (by the frame or scope or whatnot). This makes it get stuck in a loop where it becomes extremely interested in something, it gets frustrated in the endeavor, and becomes drawn to it that much more.

Thus, the goal of a person seeking to make truly brilliant creative endeavors is to create something precisely limited in scope, but limited in the exact way that would unconsciously attract a person to it. Something is ‘good’ art to the extent that it does that effectively, bad art if it does not.

I’m probably really wrong about this, but my interest in aesthetics is only fleeting, so it doesn’t bother me if I’m wrong.

(This post was written with my eyes closed. Let’s see you do tht and not make a typo!)