Killed Mr. Burns

nabµf #13 of 29

By Pixel at May 13, 2008 at 9:16 pm. Filed in nabµf

78.  I twice had long(ish) hair.  I claim I’ve had red, yellow, and pink hair, but most of the time I’m exaggerating.  (We had no idea what we were doing at the time.)

Pixel was invited to his younger cousin’s graduation.  She talked to him about high school and he reminisced about the crazy things he did in his youth.

“Like when you painted your hair blue?”  his cousin asked.  Pixel had never dyed his hair blue, but he did pose in a blue wig for a photograph once.  He kept this photo in his wallet as proof that he did crazy things in his youth.  He didn’t show it to anyone, because he didn’t want them to think he was crazy.  But he did mention it constantly, though. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to see that,” his cousin continued.

“Yeah, I did crazy things back then,” Pixel lied vociferously.  “I should do it again for your graduation.”

So Pixel decided to dye his hair blue despite his cousin’s objections that she was joking.

Pixel bought some hair dye and bleaching products so that his friend’s girlfriend could do the unmentionable thing to his hair.  First, they bleached it and Pixel’s hair turned a magnificent shade of yellow.  But, since it was blue they were after, they had to bleach it again.

They did not realize the first bleach had washed out all of his scalp’s natural oils.  Pixel, not having bleached his hair twice in a row before, was not expecting the feeling of 10,000 red ants biting his scalp as the peroxide ate at his skull.  He also was not expecting the toxic fumes his head was emitting to be deadly.

Ahhh...


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