Current Mood: Sort of worried and feeling like I got shocked in the sack a little bit.

Sarah doesn’t really worry me, because she’s in Pennsylvania and she’s been too stressed lately, so the cause is probably just her own body trying to do a coup d’état .

Ange, however, does worry me a bit.  This was a little out of left-field for me.  I’d forgotten she was on exchange in Mexico.  And here I am remembering when I taught her what ‘¿Que?’ meant.

1. You should back up your hard drive. Often.
2. Birth control is important.
3. It is immoral to steal someone’s once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
4. No one wants to hear knock-knock jokes or limericks at a eulogy.
5. Baldness is hereditary.
6. It is inadvisable to have pornography as your desktop image, especially if you are going to give a presentation.
7. Felix the Cat is not a useful way to get across to today’s youth.
8. Women do not like having to pay for their own meals on first dates.
9. Your fly was down all day today… and nobody was impressed.
10. Gödel’s second theorem is going to be on the exam.

I have a lot of family in old Mexico.  They greet each other (and strangers!) with kisses on the cheek.  They are very nice people.

Mexico warns no kissing as 81 dead in swine flu outbreak

Shit.

But most of my immediate family and friends: the people I grew up with… most of them live in the American Southwest.

Double shit.

At least I’m still healthy, right?  I mean, at least I wasn’t shivering all of yesterday and didn’t throw up all my yummy meals.  Right?

...

…  oh, fuck.

(Hey guys: I’m trying to come back slowly into the Internet.  Here’s something silly.)

I was just asked for money in a parking lot outside of a Burger King. The man, ‘Jared,’ wanted $5 to ‘call his mom.’  I slowly shifted into reverse, rolled up my window, and idled out of there. I drove around the restaurant three times before I left. I figured: might as well out-sketch the sketchy dude.

But what is sketch? I don’t know. I couldn’t define it if I wanted to. But I can think of a bunch of things that are.  Any what better way than to learn by analogy, right?

• One guy standing under a street lamp – sketchy
• A man and a woman standing under a street lamp – not sketchy (unless she is not dressed appropriately)
• Three college-aged walking in the night in the middle of the road, stumbling – not yet sketch
• Three guys walking in the night in the middle of the road – very sketch
• Anyone wearing prescription glasses at any time of day – not sketch
• Cory Hart wearing his sunglasses at night – sketch
• Police blocking off an otherwise innocuous stretch of road, waving people into a detour through the bad side of town – sketch
• A car following you at night with its lights off – sketch
• An ambulance following you at night with its lights off – just plain weird.  But also a bit sketch
• Back streets with few or no street lamps – sketch
• Alleys that smell like urine – sketch
• People in old, dirty clothes that smell like urine – sketch
• Drawings that are done quickly, usually with a pencil – sketch

Very well.  That’s the list of everything I could think of.  Hope it helps later when you’re alone and wondering of things are sketch or not.

I usually don’t use my blog as a repository of feelings.  So rather than do that, I’ve decided to present to you another adventure in my anti-life.  In case you don’t know, an anti-life is the exact opposite of the life you currently lead.  I introduced it a long time ago because I thought if I shared happiness in this blog, it would jinx it.  Now I’m going to try the exact reverse.  Maybe that will work!

I’m really healthy and happy right now.  I don’t have the chills and didn’t throw up earlier.  I’ve eaten so many things today.  Yum, yum.  I have a test Monday and I really care about it and am really worried, even though I shouldn’t be.  Even if I fail it beyond my tamest nightmares, it’s certain that I’ll get an A in the class.  The one time I tried to study, everything made so much sense and followed so logically, that I didn’t think I had to bother studying any more.

Anyway, the thing that hasn’t been on my mind at all recently is the realization that I’m a really good guy.  In fact, it doesn’t matter what I say or do, I always seem to help people that matter.  I guess I’m just the person everyone is looking for, even if they don’t think it.  Knowing that’s the case makes it so easy for me to just smile constantly.  After all: everyone’s life is better off after they meet me.  I really understand people and how what I do affects them.

Anyway, my first year as a graduate student will start Monday and I’ll have so much to show for it.  I haven’t made new friends, but at least I haven’t made new enemies or hurt people I care about either.  *intake of air*  So it stops.  I think I’m going to try to stay awake as long as I possibly can right now.