Things I wish I could conclude about my psyche, but can’t

I just finished up a 26-part series of confessions.  The order was jumbled, but they were all taken from my phonebook, letter by letter, and aimed at individual persons.  You can see the –finally– complete navigation here:

Navigation:  pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv, pt. v, pt. vi, pt. vii, pt. viii, pt. ix, pt. x, pt. xi, pt. xii, pt. xiii, pt. xiv, pt. xv, pt. xvi, pt. xvii, pt. xviii, pt. xix, pt. xx, pt. xxi, pt. xxii, pt. xxiii, pt. xxiv, pt. xxv, pt. xxvi

Anyway.  I learned a lot of things about myself in this process and I wanted to share some of them with you.  In bullet form, because we’ve all grown so used to it.

• I’m sort of a dick.
• My phonebook needs some serious reorganization.  Some names are kept in my phonebook long after they are no longer useful.  For instance: the entry “*Munk tru” which is found in confession list pt. vi is that of a friend of a friend who hired me and subsequently became a semi-regular blog-reader.  I do not think she has thought about me in months and I sincerely doubt if I will ever see her again.  But she’s still in my phone book and will stay there.  Since there are so many people in my list that I will probably never again see, there are an inordinate number of entries in which I say “I’m okay with never seeing you again.”  Or something of the sort.  This would be a very callous thing to say if they were people in my immediate social circle, but as they are people from the far past, I think I’m okay with it.
• There are a lot of women that sort of like me or I sort of like.
• … a lot.  This came as a bit of a shocker, but it really shouldn’t be.  I was single and looking for a long time.  It’s just bothersome
• A lot of the people in my life are far away.  I don’t get to see many of the people I care about very often.  But those are just the numbers that derive from moving often in my life.  Luckily, I get to see some pretty awesome people most days.
• …  but they’re a very small subsection of my phone list, apparently.
• … Or maybe I just don’t have very many things to say to them that I can’t.  My confession about my friend *re, for instance, was “You are one of my favorite people of all time.  I love you, man.“  Not as dramatic as some of the other things I said, I know.  But… what can you do?
• I don’t like a good percentage of the people I encounter whose phone numbers I have.  In my defense, I don’t really hang out with very many people I dislike, I just don’t delete phone numbers, so the people I dislike start accumulating on my list.
• So maybe I’m not such a dick.
• I hope.

What have you concluded?

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Things I wish I could say to people, but can’t (pt. XXVI of XXVI)

I’ve decided that this will be a grab bag of confessions to people who, for some reason, where not in my phone book.  I am including people that I know through the Internet, though Ashley and Moof are not on this list as they have been posted in other segments.  I’m setting a rule that I must have known these people for six months or longer and that I must expect some future contact from them.  Otherwise, this list would just get too extensive.  Also, I’m not including many people I know in professional capacities, like professors, because that would also bring in a huge load of poorly thought-out confessions.

*ahem*

• Your sense of humor is just mean.
• I miss you.   When you got sick, I lost the person I grew up with and you’ve never recovered.  I know you feel worse about it than any of us, but you were a great grandfather when I was a kid.
• You were my once best-case scenario and it sucks that I haven’t seen you in a while.  Maybe next year?
• Stop calling me.  I didn’t like you when you weren’t a triple-divorce and single mother of four, why would I like you now?
• I didn’t really like you when I first met you…. and I never second met you.
• The government doesn’t care about you and nobody is out to get you.  There are no conspiracies of the sort you concern yourself with and you should stop telling people there are.
• You’re funny and cool.
• Your son is either immature or a complete scoundrel.  Your choice.
• That your philosophical positions led you to be able to believe in anything that made you feel better is silly.  No offense intended to anyone else, but Jesus is your own personal reductio ad absurdum.
• I’m sorry that your very existence makes me sad.  You seem like cool enough siblings, but I’m not sure if we’ll ever be friends.
• You accidentally made me lie to a person I truly care about.  Which hurt.
• I’m glad you had a boyfriend you loved and not hurt at all that you couldn’t come to visit when you were nearby.  I was there once, I know how it is.
• I really wish I could go back to visit so that you could tease me and we could hang out.  Unfortunately, I may never return to Mexico for top secret reasons.
• ‘Damaged Goods’ implies that there were goods to be damaged.
• You’re not as cute as you think you are.  I can’t stand your attitude, which means I can’t stand you.  >:[
• If you’re faking your personality: STOP IT.  It’s annoying.  If not… then you have much bigger problems than your uni and relationships.

pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv, pt. v, pt. vi, pt. vii, pt. viii, pt. ix, pt. x, pt. xi, pt. xii, pt. xiii, pt. xiv, pt. xv, pt. xvi, pt. xvii, pt. xviii, pt. xix, pt. xx, pt. xxi, pt. xxii, pt. xxiii, pt. xxiv, pt. xxv, pt. xxvi

Last Year: Grad School Games
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Things I wish I could say to people, but can’t (pt. XXV of XXVI)

Just one more…

• I must never speak to you again.  This is for your own good.  Also, for the sake of avoiding drama.
• I never realized how much of a douche you were,  I’m glad you left.

Navigation:  pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv, pt. v, pt. vi, pt. vii, pt. viii, pt. ix, pt. x, pt. xi, pt. xii, pt. xiii, pt. xiv, pt. xv, pt. xvi, pt. xvii, pt. xviii, pt. xix, pt. xx, pt. xxi, pt. xxii, pt. xxiii, pt. xxiv, pt. xxv, pt. xxvi

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Things I wish I could say to people, but can’t (pt. XXIV of XXVI)

Wow, I’m almost getting to the end here..

• Sorry you ended up with my brother.  If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure that’s going to come to an end soon.
• You’re my boy and I love you, man.  Good luck with both your career and life.

Navigation:  pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv, pt. v, pt. vi, pt. vii, pt. viii, pt. ix, pt. x, pt. xi, pt. xii, pt. xiii, pt. xiv, pt. xv, pt. xvi, pt. xvii, pt. xviii, pt. xix, pt. xx, pt. xxi, pt. xxii, pt. xxiii, pt. xxiv, pt. xxv, pt. xxvi

Last Year: What's this? Why is it all going over me? Could it be that I am in over my head?
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Things I wish I could say to people, but can’t (pt. XXIII of XXVI)

Ha ha.

• That’s good, I guess, but get it right next time.

Indeed.

Navigation:  pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv, pt. v, pt. vi, pt. vii, pt. viii, pt. ix, pt. x, pt. xi, pt. xii, pt. xiii, pt. xiv, pt. xv, pt. xvi, pt. xvii, pt. xviii, pt. xix, pt. xx, pt. xxi, pt. xxii, pt. xxiii, pt. xxiv, pt. xxv, pt. xxvi

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