When the Great Turtle Soul appeared

All the Earth sang, “Gloria Tortuga!”

Last Year: Zoom zoom whir whir
| No Comments

Twitter Grab Bags IV

• The past version of myself gives me really bad advice.
  September 18
• Things McCain should not say, “the guard traced a cross in the sand, so then i traced the letter ‘u.’”
  September 18
• They’re not religious. Unless you consider love a religion.. Which I don’t. I consider it a cult.
  September 20
• Laughter is good medicine so long as you don’t overdose.
  September 21
• They always tell you that lying is wrong, but they never point out that sometimes it is very convenient.
  September 29
• I don’t know why I expected to get paid at 12:01 a.m. today: I mean, I had my money direct-deposited to my Wachovia bank account. :-S
  September 30
• What’s the nicest way to say “I really want to pay attention, but I don’t care about anything you’re going to say”?
  September 30
• What’s the nicest way to say “I really want to pay attention, but I don’t care about anything you’re going to say”?
  September 30
• I often make phenomenal judgments… just not about qualia.
  September 30
• String theory is so messed up, It’s all tied up in knots.
  September 30
• Things are shaping up. Just today: an attractive girl smiled at me. Pretty soon: it’ll be on purpose.
  October 1
• I have to rewrite my suicide note. Teacher says the first draft was ‘too preachy.’
  October 1
• It might turn out that the appropriate response to economic pressures is to panic then collapse into a stupor. I call it the ‘opossum plan.’
  October 8
• Sad: The Ouroboros ate my homework.
  October 10

ascottwhite @Pixelation: The Ouroboros is so full of himself.
October 10
in reply to Pixelation

• Metaphors are LIKE similes, but similes ARE metaphors.
  October 13
  
• It’s too easy to make people feel sad and cry at funerals. I want them to panic and feel slightly aroused.
  October 13
• I’m just going to skip to the end of this article to find out what this guy is going to fail to prove.
  October 20
• I’m just going to say it. I know we’ve all been thinking it: There’s just not enough rickrolling in Shakespeare’s sonnets.
  October 20
• Chess is a game for kings. And knights and bishops and rooks.
  October 21
• It does not pay to have enemies.. But It’s still cheaper than having friends.
  October 24

Last Year: Why I love my friends
| No Comments

Twitter Grab Bags III

Anson says my twitter grab bags suck.  I say I use a month’s ideas in each one of these, so…  ouch. 

• So i survived my first day in durham, which is good… That was definitely one of my top two preferred outcomes.
  August 18
• No one ever got called pithy by being accurate……….. wait, let me elaborate on that…
  August 21
• So negative — Why is everything between abortion and euthanasia called ‘murder?’
  August 24
• Note: don’t sign up for big brothers, big sisters if you’re an abusive sibling.
  August 25
• Ironically, anything can be ironic if you just expect the opposite of whatever happens… and I’m not even being ironic.
  August 27
• Hey, didn’t McCain reach his life expectancy today?
  August 29
• I was born at the age of zero. Just so you know..
  August 31
• The simplest spelling of Ockham’s Razor is Okkam’s RazR.
  September 2
  
• I will create a Philosophy Manhattan Project so the most brilliant minds can solve causality once and for all.. before the filthy Germans do
  September 5
• Remember kids: theories that could potentially annihilate the universe should not be tested empirically.
  September 8
• Why doesn’t the world ever end when i want it to?
  September 10
• As a philosopher, I’m basically getting paid to think. So far this morning, I’m ripping them off.
  September 10
• I’ve decided i’m not intelligent, i’m just regular ‘telligent.
  September 10
• It occurs to me that one can, and often does, hide intense psychological disorders in fandom.
  September 13
• You want a coke?
  Nah, i’m limiting my caloric intake.
  What are you, a woman?
  No, but I AM thinner than you.
  September 13
• I wouldn’t be able to finish my reading today if I were Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
  September 14
• The beauty of having meetings in restaurants is that even if nobody shows: food!
  September 15
• I don’t need time management advice! I need one of those time turners from harry potter three.
  September 15
• Six sodas for six dollars is a buck a pop.
  September 16
• If suicide is your final decision, you might as well go all out.
  September 17

Last Year: Hot, like a bell pepper
| No Comments

I speak in aphorisms most days

This, however, isn’t one of them.

Last Year: The game's on you!
| No Comments

He punched me in the face.

Feeling pity for undeserving people much?

Last Year: Waiting indefinitely for applause
| 1 Comment