mwahahahah

Dear world,

I have now finished my graduate school applications. I suppose suicide would be inappropriate now, so I’ll just go on a murderous, celebratory rampage.

Yee-ha!

Last Year: Free books, OMFG!, Moof is such a doll
| 3 Comments

remember when. . . in 2006

It’s one thing to accomplish what you set out to do (even if you’re only accomplishing 50 percent), it’s quite another thing to have a good time doing it. This year had the highest of the highs, the lowest of the lows and the most medium of the media.

However, because actual descriptions would take too much time, I’ll bullet out the year.

2006 in memories

• . . . a sock!
• Late production nights at TRU
• Late weeknights at TRU
• Late any nights at TRU
• cuteoverload.com
• Working with Laura and dealing with all of the drama that resulted
• Interview day for the TRU editor in chief position
• The day after interview day
• Confronting Jeff Hand for his quasi-ethical action that cost my university the quality of its school paper.
• The fact that to this day, Jeffrey W. Hand still has that mustache. . . .
• End-of-the-year TRU party at Jackie’s house
• Having an after party at my house
• Spring graduation, where I went to five parties, including a lunch and a dinner, picked up a friend from the airport an hour away, drove around a drunk person, tried to help someone break into their own house, hung out with great people and combed through Las Cruces looking for a girl who took off walking into the night when I wouldn’t give her a ride.
• The Clovis News-Journal
• The Zia Lodge
• Angel, or whatever her name was, who kept calling me for months, despite the fact that I would ignore her, hang up on her or otherwise stay quiet for grotesquely awkward lengths of time.
• Getting postcards from Suzius and Ange
• Random books and packages arriving for me from Nikki.
• Sleeping on a too-thin mattress, then getting an air mattress for my birthday.
• Having a 21st birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. . .
• Throwing a secret party in the mountains
• Being rained out the following morning and nearly dying in those same mountains
• Hanging out with Claire and Jayna after work and getting to know and love them
• Not having a place to stay in Las Cruces during the summer, but not minding at all
• Moving in with Rich Sims
• Moving in with Ben Davenport
• Having the greatest road trip to Denver with Jayna and SPJ
• Late-night Halo sessions at the dorms
• Sitting with my old friend Daniel and complaining about how we’re wasting our lives
• Doing something about it

. . . oh, 2006, would that I could selectively relive parts of you. To 2007, may your days bring grace and happiness with just a hint of awesomeness.

Last Year: WTF 3, NY 6, Pixel Nothing, 2006
| No Comments

Uncle Pixel

My brother knocked up his wife.

I’m going to be an uncle.

Again.

(oh, wait, was that a family secret? Damn! I’m really bad about keeping those..)

Last Year: Nil
| 1 Comment

Remember that time…

I enjoy saying sentences that contain entire stories within so as to entice people into asking about them… then refusing to say anything. Often times people become angry, but this also works when people know the story I’m referring to and they laugh along. This is similar to my belief that sometimes punchlines make better jokes than the jokes themselves.

For instance:

• Remember that time I showed up for those classes for an entire semester?
• Or how about when my head was accidentally shaved by a pathologically lying, blond lesbian?
• This one time my mate Frank and I showed up to a random Astronomy class, took the test, and scored higher than anyone else in the class.
• Say, how about that time I had to be rushed to the hospital and my friends stopped to make a pizza instead of driving me there?
• And what about the time I drove 3,500 kilometers across the country by myself… in one go… and I did it four times?
• The middle two were from Pennsylvania to Texas and were decided on a 2:00 a.m. whim, weren’t they?
• And it was the Saturday right before that where you dressed up as a woman to sneak into a Sex Toy party and realized that men were obsolete.
• What about that time you kissed your lesbian best friend?
• Speaking of which, remember when you asked out a girl during a Gay Rights rally?
• Or when you became your mate’s archnemesis and didn’t set him up with the love of his life, despite the fact that you were the only one that knew how they felt about each other?
• Then when you accidentally broke into this same friend’s house in the middle of the night, cut your wrists, and had to be rushed to a hospital in a car that was blind, slow, couldn’t stop, and was one spark away from blowing up..
• Or when your mates broke into your old campus to paint the Black Panther that was prominently displayed in front of campus pink?
• What about when you dressed up as Santa Claus for the last day of school your freshman year of high school?
• Or when you were suspended two days after Columbine for… nah, you wouldn’t be interested…
• Then there was a bomb threat the one day you were suspended?
• Or when you and your mates had that hotel room and you accidentally destroyed three lamps, a bed, poked four holes in the walls and one in the roof, stole pizza from the school bus, threw a party in your friend’s room, covered as your friends snuck out to see their girlfriends, and then broke into the mini-fridge?
• What about the time you walked 30 miles in the desert, wearing all black, to get to a girl’s house only to find her dad waiting for you when you arrived?
• Or when your mate stole the fire truck?
• How about the night you kept your friend Jack awake for over 48 hours through a Harry Potter book party and a drive to Albuquerque only to leave him alone in an apartment while you went out with your friends– and then he couldn’t sleep?
• Or going on exchange across the planet on a whim?

there’s going to be more. Count on that.

Last Year: Something Serious
| No Comments

Shocking revelation from my subconscious to yours

You know what I just remembered? When I was a kid, my godmother used to electrocute me.

She thought it was therapeutic or beneficial or something, but the point is that the woman shocked me!

She also used to have… contests… with my brother after eating eggs. It was disgusting. Sometimes I’d have to leave the room because of the smell.

Not that I’m saying she was a bad godmother, far from it. She was and probably still is my favourite aunt. She just had a very immature way about her. Not that that’s bad or anything.

~~~
And another thing: I’ve been afraid and ashamed of going to cut my hair for years. I’d not realized that.

Before I was 11, I’d be ashamed for my bumpy, bumpy head (calling all phrenologists), after that, I’d be ashamed of my bald spot. See if you can find it, it looks pleasantly like a bullet hole.

At some point I convinced myself that it was because I hated spending money on what I considered an eternal recurrence, but now I’m thinking I just didn’t like it from an early age.

I always wanted my haircuts to be new and sharp and inventive, but my father kept saying that the mark of a good haircut is that nobody knows you had one.

Bah! That’s the mark of a good Japanese wife, not a haircut. What good is doing something for appearance if the entire goal is to not appear as if you did something for your appearance?

It’s silly, if you ask me. And nobody mention deodorant or showering: there are personal reasons for those. Haircuts are purely social.

Aren’t they?

~~~

This guy’s character tablet is gold.

~~~

And this is random fun, but again I find myself reading every single comic and moving on, likely to never come back.

~~~

Whoa. I just got an e-mail from myself. It was thoughtful, but frankly, a little scary.
It’s like he knew exactly what I thought!
(note to self: think nothing. You’re already blunt, but now there’s a set of twins with mindreading powers and a time-travelling Pixel to look out for)

~~~

So I finally figured out Deviant Art. Thank Gosh. I was afraid I would be completely ignorant. My problem before was in knowing which ‘deviations’ where done by whom. It was silly, really, but I’d never looked for more than a few minutes.

~~~

Despite all evidence to the contrary, my suicidality has officially ended. I’m ‘Oomphed‘ to the extreme.

Oh, and by the way, I’ve had a death wish for the past six months. I didn’t want to say anything for fear it might make people start caring and stuff. But now that that’s over, and that I’m looking both ways before I cross the street again, I can let you know.

Update: Apparently I did let you all know, but nobody did anything. Now don’t you just feel like jerks?

| No Comments