Wanna see what I’ve been doing during my vacation?

89.  When I was 14 I made a conscious decision to be honest and stop making up stories.  As a direct result, I’ve become a terrible, terrible liar.

"... Dad??"

…  And now, back to semi-retirement.

Last Year: I'm not an idiot, I swear!
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‘C’ for Cookie

88. I am a citizen of the world, but only two countries recognize my nationality: Mexico and the U.S. So weird.

What’s this? Am I eating a cookie? How did that come about?

Well, I’m glad you ask, World. See, it started with this post. I won some cookies… and… yesterday, my cousin received an envelope that suggested: Do Not Bend.

I don’t think I look much like her. What do you think?

Hmm.. I wonder how they delivered it with the address all blacked out like that?

And now inside…

I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with me: I didn’t take any pictures of the actual cookies. WTF??

But I did take a picture of us about to sit down for some good peanut butter and sugar cookies:

In the end: Narfna rulez. Why can’t more of you send me cookies?

Last Year: Golden Corral snubbery, I want some GRold and I hate you because I care
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Rigid Definitions

87. I’m afraid of waiters, secretaries, and janitors. Seriously. They have so much power over such a small area of your life that I fear angering them.

Last Year: Schadenfreude is the greatest word in the English language
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110O!

86. I wore braces all of senior year in high school and into my first semester of college. I don’t know why, though, because my teeth were never that bad. I guess I just wanted to fit in.

Hey, last year this was my birthday, so I sort of feel I owe it to myself to talk about it. But now I’ve decided to take a break from getting older, so this day won’t signify my turning older, but pushing my birthday one year further. That’s right. Yesterday, I was born in 1982, but from today until May 28, 2009, I’ll have been born in 1983. You understand.

Happy birthday to me?

p.s.  No, I’m still gone, I just wrote this entry before I left so that you would be like “wha…?”  I’ll write something of note soon.

Last Year: 1oi!0
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nabµf #14 of 29

85. I worry I share too much. I also don’t worry that I share too much. But it turns out I rarely worry about sharing the right things at the right times.

Pixel was the kind of guy that would leave at any occasion. He often found himself going on vacation, international study, and even just moving for no reason. And, as Pixel made friends everywhere he went, this meant that half the time his leaving was (partly) to go visit other friends. Pixel’s life was a very hectic one.

In fact, one fine day, Pixel moved to Seattle. He did it because he wanted to earn money for his plans that year: he wanted to travel the world during the summer. He also moved because he had some friends in Seattle and he figured they would let him stay with them.

Pixel arrived with very little money and no prospects for a job or an apartment. He spent two weeks looking for an apartment before it became painfully obvious to him that he was wearing out his welcome with his friends Yoshi and Bekkah. See, Yoshi and Bekkah each had a studio apartment, so for two weeks they never had a moment to themselves.

Pixel knew he had to find his own solution.

Pixel panicked. Obviously.

He scoured Craigslist for job vacancies, but his only hope was a Deus Ex Machina: that is, a literary device in which all of his problems would be solved as if by a God from a Machine. ¹

Unfortunately, when his Machina did come, Pixel didn’t move out of the way in time and the Deus squished him.

p.s.  Bye bye!  See you in August!

1. It’s a very common transport for literary gods.[↩]

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